Humor: Summer One Liners

Despite my ADD, I love long walks on the beach.

I would say it is hot as hell, but I don’t believe in heat.

I prefer the dog days of summer over the cat calls of winter.

I don’t think it is a coincidence that the Founding Fathers declared our independence during the summer. Even back then, they knew the importance of splitting from a totalitarian regime. Only difference is their break has lasted for 200 plus years.

Do teachers work summer jobs?

Now that I am older and I don’t have any predetermined vacation time, I look back fondly on the days where I knew what I would be doing between June and August: nothing.

I don’t get tan I just go from white to off-white.

I like a cool dip in the pool, especially if it has water in it.

Summer is often called “Bikini Season.” Why couldn’t Earth be a little further from the sun so we could have “Nude Season”?

Did you know that in the Southern Hemisphere, they experience the seasons in reverse? That’s right they are experiencing remmus right now. Poor saps.

When you went to school, did you ever get summer homework? I don’t think the school system knows what the concept of summer is. No wonder the educational system is so out of whack!

A nickname for baseball players is the “boys of summer.” Of course, when a baseball player enters his 13th season, he is called the “man of summer.”

And for the 25th year in a row, the most requested song during the summer is “Cold as Ice” by Foreigner. At least, that’s what I hear requested a lot.

Summer is a boom season for umbrellas: they guard against rain, the sun, and seagulls.

I am contemplating putting a collection of rocks in my car to dump water over. My car is already hot enough to be a sauna I might as well complete it.

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One Response to “Humor: Summer One Liners”

  1. Hollis Says:

    I need to to thank you for this good read!! I definitely loved every little bit of it.
    I’ve got you saved as a favorite to look at new things you post…

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