One Liners: The Return

In case of emergency, breakdance.

First there was a unicycle, then a bicycle, then a tricycle. Where’s the tetracycle?

Note to self: cannot use toothpaste to mend a broken vase.

I once was thrown out of a movie for asking them to turn up the sound. Turns out, it was a silent movie. But it was unfair, I didn’t see them throw out the random guy playing that piano.

Andy Warhol once said everyone gets their 15 minutes of fame. However, with daylights saving, it is more like 17 minutes.

Nice guys finish last. Which means all gold medal winners are jerks.

The umbrella should have been invented before the wheel. I mean, man first discovered fire and then waited eons before he invented something to protect the fire from the rain?

I online date; the last three dates I went on were with Explorer, Firefox, and Safari.

You know birds look at planes and go “Man, that guy is lazy. He doesn’t even flap his wings!”

I would never run for President. Maybe powerwalk for the position, though.

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