Humor: Once More Into The Breach With One-Liners

Who was the first girl to look at fishnets and decided that they would look good as stockings?

For the longest time I thought The Sopranos was about choir boys.

I keep on hearing about “the big city.” If a city was small, wouldn’t that make it a town?

Buried treasure would be such a great find, except sand gets everywhere!

As technology gets smaller, eyeglasses sales increase.

Why are name tags disposable? Is the industry afraid we change our names often?

Who knew that those ancient dinosaur prints were just their attempts to figure out their carbon footprints?

Beyonce should really meet Ringo Starr. He loves to put a ring on it.

In carpentry, the saying is “measure twice, cut once.” In my conversations with people it is “say ‘excuse me’ twice, then pretend to know what they are saying at once.”

Often, these one-liners are more than one sentence. Writing and Math are like oil and vinegar.

It is great that we are able to trap wild water and put it into bottles.

Music soothes even the savage soul, unless that soul has terrible taste in music.

Trends are just fads that haven’t ended yet.

Plaid is for people who are tired of picking colors.

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