Play: Out of Sync

A rock band runs onstage to the delight and screams of its fans in attendance.
LEAD SINGER: Thank you! It is great to be here in Cleveland!
BASS PLAYER: Actually, we are in Chicago.
LEAD SINGER: Oh, well, it is great to be wherever we are! We are The Crickets!
DRUMMER: Um, we are not The Crickets. We are The Harpoons.
LEAD SINGER: I knew that. I knew that. Man, it must have been all the alcohol I drank backstage.
RHYTHM GUITAR: You were drinking apple juice.
LEAD SINGER: Was that what that was?
RHYTHM GUITAR: Pretty sure you wrote that as a rider in our contract.
LEAD SINGER: I am way off tonight.
BASS PLAYER: It is the middle of the day.
The lead singer looks up into the sky into the blazing sun.
LEAD SINGER: So that is not the moon?
BASS PLAYER: Not by a long shot.
LEAD SINGER: Okay. Let me get this straight: We are The Harpoons and we are playing a midday concert in Chicago. And the pressure I am feeling on my bladder is from apple juice and not beer.
DRUMMER: Exactly.
LEAD SINGER: Whew. I think I have it all figured out. Now, for our first number, we are going to play our big hit “Stairway to Heaven!”
RHYTHM GUITAR, BASS PLAYER, and DRUMMER: THAT’S NOT OUR HIT!

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