Play: A Minor Infraction

Blue and red lights flash as a police officer pulls over a woman.
COP: Know why I pulled you over, ma’am?
WOMAN: I was speeding?
COP: No.
WOMAN: I didn’t signal that turn back there?
COP: That’s not why.
WOMAN: My tags are expired?
COP: Your tags are fine.
WOMAN: I did not come to a full stop at the stop sign?
COP: You did and I have to compliment you on that.
WOMAN: I hit that pedestrian?
COP: He had it coming.
WOMAN: I know, I was going the wrong way on a one way street.
COP: This is a two-way street.
WOMAN: I flipped you off when I saw you?
COP: I thought you were just waving.
WOMAN: My hazard lights were on?
COP: They are off.
WOMAN: I was weaving back and forth in traffic, as if I was drunk?
COP: I smell no alcohol on you.
WOMAN: Why then did you pull me over?
COP: Because you left your coffee on the roof of your car, ma’am.
The COP walks away.
COP: Have a nice day.

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