Photography: The City of Lights Sparkles

The beatuy of Paris at night

Poem: Comics

Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?
Did the Dark Knight Return with The Dark Phoenix?
I know Watchmen live in The House of M
Where they’ll stay till The End

Couldn’t stop trick-or-treating during The Long Halloween
I won the Laughing Game with a Killing Joke
But The Night Gwen Stacy Died
All that went down, The OMAC Project spied

Oh that epic battle where it was Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
When that Hush fell over the battlefield
It was all part of some Secret Invasion
That left us all a-Quiver, at our stations.

When we learned about the Death of Superman, it made us cry
As did when we heard Spider-man say “No More!”
Pain signed in a deal called the Judas Contract
But we know, Heroes will be Reborn, with a certain knack

So turn the page and keep on reading
Let the colors and the emotions keep on bleeding
Because the heroes are only heroes
When we let our imagination reduce the pages left to zero

Humor: Baseball vs. Football (With Apologies to George Carlin)

George Carlin famously compared football to baseball and found baseball lacking. And wimpy. But allow me, dear readers, to respond to the late, great Carlin.

Baseball is a game of feet and inches. 400 feet to centerfield, that pitch was just a few inches off the plate.
Football is a game of yards. Let’s go play in the yard!

Baseball is full of thieves: he just stole second base! He robbed that hitter of a homerun!
Football has fumbles and interceptions. Oops, he let go of that ball!

Baseball is played on a diamond, the hardest material known to man.
Football is played on field. Let’s go frolic in the field!

Baseball has players that throw heaters. He just blew it past that batter!
Football has players that throw zips. He zipped it in there!

Baseball has bang-bang plays.
Football needs instant replay to see where the ball should be spotted.

Baseball has foul territory. Don’t go there, that is foul!
Football has out-of-bounds. Watch your toes!

Baseball’s championship game is played in October, the scariest month of the year.
Football’s championship is played in February, the shortest month of the year.

Baseball is full of dangerous plays: a shot up the middle, a screamer down the line, a rocket to right field.
Football has you getting stuffed at the line, a deflection, an incompletion.

Baseball’s ball can reach speeds of 100 mph.
Football’s ball can reach speeds of maybe 15 mph, tops.

Baseball’s ball has laces all over itself and you deal with it.
Football’s ball laces, if you hold the ball the wrong way, the kicker can’t kick it!

Baseball is full of vicious injuries: a rotator cuff injury or an elbow ligament tear results in Tommy John surgery.
Football has turf toe.

Baseball has a dugout where all the players sit. It is like a bomb shelter, a bunker to wage war from.
Football has a sideline, where the players mill about and get fanned.

Baseball, if the ball is being thrown at you, it is with malicious intent.
Football, if the ball is thrown at you, oooh, catch it!

Comic: Back of the Envelope – #8 – Yadda, Yadda, Yadda

Debates over which Golden Girl we are end up much less spirited. I am obviously Rose. So very, very, very Rose.

By the way, this is a very timely post (though I wrote the first draft months ago): over the weekend, I got to see the people who loosely inspired “S” and “G” (for “G’s” wedding, no biggee) and we whipped out the Seinfeld references left and right. Good times.

Comic: Back of the Envelope – #7 – Revenge is a Dish Best Served Bodiless!

Sadly, it seems like S and G did not learn any lessons from “Duck Amok.” He who holds the pen can do whatever petty stuff he wants to!

Play: The Walk-Off

On the field of a baseball stadium. Fans are cheering loudly and players are running around. The INTERVIEWER grabs the HERO

INTERVIEWER: HERO, you just hit a walk-off homerun to win the game and secure a spot in the playoffs from this team. How do you feel?
HERO: Well, you know, it feels good. I was put in this position by my teammates and I really wanted to deliver.
As the HERO talks another player comes up and pies the HERO in the face. The INTERVIEWER and HERO both laugh.
INTERVIEWER: Do you remember the last time you had a hit this big?
HERO: No. Maybe in T-ball.
Another player comes up to the HERO and hits him in the face with powder. The INTERVIEWER and HERO both nervously laugh.
INTERVIEWER: You are now on pace to break your career high in homeruns and RBIs. You are also nearing the end of your contract. Coincidence?
HERO: Oh, I don’t want to talk about that. I just want to concentrate on this season.
Yet another player comes by and throws a drink in the HERO’s face. No one is laughing.
INTERVIEWER: So, uh, how is the wife?
HERO: Uh, the wife is good. She says hello.
A player comes by and hits the HERO in the face with a frying pan. The HERO is mad now.
HERO: A frying pan? Really? That’s it. I am going to give someone an embarrassing injury now.
The HERO darts off. The INTERVIEWER turns to the camera.
INTERVIEWER: Well, that’s it from the field, back to you guys in the booth.
In the booth, the ANNOUNCERS’ faces are covered with various substances from celebrating the victory.

Art Project: 52 Card Write-Up – Jack of Diamonds

This one is from my sister. As have been said by others, only in my family can we make endless references to TV and think it normal. And it is normal! This card is a reference to Jack from Will and Grace. While I was never a big fan of the show, I know just enough to get the joke. Extra dded bonus: the Jack in this card is using his eyes to spell out “2000,” which is one of the little extra bits Jack says on the show when promoting himself and his one man show “Just Jack.” Layers upon layers, folks! Thank you to my sister for this card.

Song: The Mime Song

::pantomimes picking up a microphone::

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….!

::takes a bow::

NOTE: This song also doubles as nice telegraph love poem

Art Project: 52 Card Write-Up – King of Hearts

Sometimes you have to shake things up. Don’t think some linearly. Et cetera, et cetera. In a double reenforcement of the principle of “Thinking outside the box,” not only is it written on the card, but it is done by incorporating the K not as the beginning of a word, but as a letter contained within “Think.” Also, wrapping around the corner, the ending of “Thinking” spells out “King” by itself! I don’t know if that was an intentional double reference, but I am going to assume so. Really inventive, and yes, outside the box!

Comic: Back of the Envelope – #6 – Ray Would Say No

They’re on to me! Quick, let me make a hasty retreat under the cover of day!